I am the reason GPS was invented.
As a thoroughly directionally challenged person, I am the reason why GPS was invented. It’s comical really. Whether driving or walking the streets of downtown, it’s not hard for me to get turned around. I’ve been in the middle of a city and had friends ask me which way back to the hotel, and when I point, they laugh in my face and start going the opposite direction. It’s that bad. I’ve come to realize that it’s just the way God made me and something I’ve learned to live with…and laugh at. I may have many talents and giftings, but I am missing the internal compass that I envy in so many others. I just want to hug and say thank you to the person that invented maps and GPS. The satellites in the sky know just how to boss me around and point me in the right direction, even when I make a wrong turn. Gotta love that recalculate button.
Although I am admittedly directionally disabled in that realm, I’ve always striven to be on the ball and put together going in the right direction in other areas of my life. Little miss goodie two-shoes always has a plan. Graduating from college suma cum laude and departmental scholar in the honor’s program, working for a fortune 500 company at age 23, starting my own business at 29, completing 29 of the 30 things on the 30×30 list, throw in four degrees and financial independence from the parental units for over a decade and I thought I was on track. Sounds good right? Don’t pat me on the back or be impressed just yet.
One of the many takeaway gems I learned through my 30×30 list is the importance of being able to change directions and handle the detours. Life is full of things that can derail us from the original intended direction we were heading. Divorce, job loss, loss of a loved one, financial setbacks, natural disasters, loss of a home, health problems, disease, a miscarriage or loss of a child, a bad break-up and so many other things can knock the wind out from us and stop us in our tracks. Maybe some things are within our control and consequences of choices we make while others are not. Either way, life happens. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
But when it does, the real question is how do we handle it? How do we even begin to pick up the pieces of something so dearly shattered?
Six months ago today I got a phone call that did just that. One phone call changed everything. Six months ago today the voice on the other end of the line told me that they found my boyfriend dead in his own home. Nothing can ever erase the memories of that day. No amount of tears covers that kind of loss. I was left without a goodbye and without answers. Those are the kind of days that change your course of direction. Those are the kind of days that scatter pieces of your heart in every direction leaving you with the choice and decisions of how to gather them up and put them back together. Some people never do.
But there is hope and there is life after those kind of days. Most often it’s found literally one day at a time. And over time the wound begins to heal–and that is a process with its own kind of pain. Sometimes God answers our questions, but most often He keeps His mysteries closed. I am not smart enough to understand the why behind “those days,” at least not on this side of heaven. But I know that good can come out of any circumstance. Any circumstance. And it is in the pressing on and pressing forward that strength is built. And strength is needed to change directions. Sometimes a lot of strength. Sometimes more strength than what we have. It takes strength and God’s grace to alter one’s course. But I have learned it is in the very movement and action of changing course that can make all the difference. That’s probably why I loved my 30×30 list and love my Next List even more–it’s like a map that keeps me focused on where I want to head, yet can be changed and altered according to the needs of the map holder. Just like in real life I can get turned around and confused and need direction from above. But I can set it down and take a breather from the journey when rest and recalculation is needed and then pick it back up and get back on course later on.
Yep, I want to hug the person that invented maps and GPS. Without them I’d be lost.